spice up your sex life, sex, sex play

9 Ways To Spice Up Your Sex Life

There are many ways to fall into a sexual rut. Especially in times of uncertainty, extra stress and more anxiety. You want to have sex but turn on default mode. Basically you become boring and that becomes heavy. It’s important to spice up your sex life to keep your creative juices, and all other juices, flowing.

When you are too much in your head thinking and worrying about the state of the world, it creates distance between you and your partner.  Not to mention it keeps you out of your body. Sex is a great way to ground and feel embodied.

It’s far too easy to fall into habits, especially sexually. That’s why it’s important to start getting some perspective and think outside the box. 

If you have been with your partner for some time now, you might have noticed the “Honeymoon Stage” is REAL! The beginning of a relationship is full of desire and attraction. The feeling of “I can’t get enough” slowly fades away and you’re left with “is this all there is?” The routine has been created.

You know your sex routine. You know what your partner enjoys, you know what you like and you just do those things to connect. But in general it’s missing that spark. 

There’s some good news. The spark can be reignited.  You just have to get a little creative and be willing to step out of your comfort zone a bit.

When humans pair up, you can become complacent with your partner. A sense of safety is created in long term relationships, which is vital for deep intimacy, but can take away the excitement of the unknown. Sexually speaking, you respond well when there are no guarantees or when you feel a bit of a risk.

Here are 9 ways to spice up your sex life:

  • Sext your desire: Send a sexy text to your partner from the other room. It’s fun when it’s short, sweet and directly sexual.
  • Shower Surprise: Jump in with your partner when they are showering for a naked make out session.
  • Dive into your imagination: Share a fantasy with one another in great detail explaining the entire environment of this fantasy from the smells, lighting, sounds, tastes, touches.  Leave nothing out.
  • Play it out: Have you imagined a life scenario that you wished you could have had sex in? Time to bring it into role playing.  Maybe it’s cop/criminal, doctor/patient, or stripper/client.  It could be anything.
  • Get Bossy: Give your partner permission to tell you what to do for an entire day. Playing with dominance and submission brings a new dynamic.
  • Sex Notes: Surprise your partner with sexy note that is left somewhere unexpected, like their wallet, purse, or in their car.
  • Conscious touch: Give each other a slow, sensual back massage being very mindful of your hands touching their skin.  The slower the better because it builds anticipation.
  • Take away a sense: Put a blindfold on your partner in the beginning of foreplay and require them to keep it on until they orgasm.
  • No touch allowed: Use a simple rope or a tie from the closet to tie up your partners hands when you start your sexual dance.

All of these are meant for playful exploration and to give your routine some extra spice.  It’s always important to communicate with your partner on how they are feeling. Yet sometimes an unexpected sexy text or bringing in a blindfold will be enough to ignite the curiosity once again.  Surprising someone who thinks they know all your tricks is a pleasant spark for both parties.

Remember, sex brings you into your body, which is vital in times of chaos or uncertainty.  Your body is a truth holder and you can ease the mind by dropping into your body.  Play and pleasure are easy access points to get you back to your truth.  You deserve pleasure.

Have fun exploring!

xo, Monique

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