Communication is a KEY component to any relationship. As humans, we are hardwired to figure out what others want or need so we can connect to each them. There is a deep need to feel seen, included and supported by others, especially our partner. And communication is how we get to do that. Just because you’ve been talking since before you can remember doesn’t mean you can communicate.
Plus communication is not limited to the words you speak but how your body moves, and your voice changes. Let me explain…
Verbal-Vocal-Non Verbal
According to body language researchers, there are three main ways we communicate with one another, verbal, vocal, and nonverbal. Verbal is what we speak, vocal is the tone of voice we use while we say it and nonverbal is through what we do with our bodies.
Now, what’s interesting is most of our communication is done through the body. According to the body language researcher Albert Mehrabian, 55% of communication is nonverbal, 38% vocal, and only 7% verbal. This means that when you’re not speaking you’re still communicating. Go figure!
Create awareness of your body because it is speaking the words you can’t seem to find sometimes. Remember, we are made of energy and we can feel and understand it through the body. So you might not tell your partner you’re angry, but most likely your body is telling them. And the person will believe what the body says over the words that are being said.
Learning how to communicate is a saving grace to your relationships. Most upsets happen due to lack of communication or miscommunication. There is a fear of being real with each other because we don’t want to disappoint, hurt, or bring up something that might risk the relationship. But you will probably start noticing what is being said through the body.
Here are a few ways to stay curious as you communicate with your loved ones:
- How is the tone of the person’s voice feeling in your body?
- Are they giving you eye contact?
- What are their hands doing?
- Does their body posture match the words they are speaking?
Being aware of how these different ways the body speaks helps you to understand others and yourself. Don’t forget, at the root of connection is a deep desire to be seen and we all deserve to be seen.
Until next time, stay curious my friend.
xo, Monique