Last week I was pretty sick. I was laid out on the couch with a high fever, nausea, and body aches…the flu hit me hard and I began the dance with body fear.
As I laid on the couch, alone in a foreign country, I felt scared. I felt like my body was giving up on me. Like I couldn’t trust it. I was fearing it like I would never get better and death was coming.
We are trained that when we feel bad or something is off in our body, we must first fear it, then, we must fix it.
We go to a professional to give us some sort of medication to help us feel better. I was told by many people to go to the doctor and get some antibiotics. I was even told by one colleague to go to the doctor and insist on getting medicine.
It was surprising how strong of an opinion people had around dis-ease.
Then I remembered that we have been taught to demand a fix.
I know antibiotics would do nothing for my flu virus. I knew antibiotics would throw off my entire gut flora and cause a whole stream of new issues. So I held back. I knew they were available and I knew I could get in contact with a doctor if I needed to, but I also listened to my body.
Back to the couch…
I was laying there fighting my fear of my body.
I decided to connect to my breath. I remembered that I am in fact healthy and that my body is reacting to something that isn’t in tune with it.
I continued to feel how my body felt just 3 days earlier when I was teaching yoga and walking around the town feeling physically great.
Our bodies are miraculous healers.
With technological advances in medicine, we forget about the power we have already inside us.
Now I am not a western medicine hater. In fact, advances in medicine fascinate me. However, I do believe as we get more information through our technology, our egos can get inflated and we become the “almighty healer”. At this point, we stop listening and start fixing.
Here I come back to balance.
We need both the modern medicine and also the ancient ways of healing, which is simply, time and rest.
I stayed in my house for 7 days in a row. I drank water, tea, and ate soup. I allowed myself rest above all else and complete trust that my body knew what it was doing. I also knew that if I started feeling worse or if I really did need medical attention, it was available and only a phone call away.
But I was practicing trust with my body.
I was not fearing my body but rather trusting it as knowing what it needed.
It was a big practice in listening.
Now taking a week off from work might sound lavish or a privilege to some. It probably brings up its own set of fears.
But I will challenge these fears because your body and your health is primary to your being on this planet. If we can’t practice putting our health and wellness first, we will continue pushing our bodies to points that they will break down.
Also, noticing how fear creeps into our mental space so quickly when our body is in pain or not feeling “normal”.
Fear of the body will perpetuate the fear of being on the planet.
That is why it is important to find a safe space within and also get comfortable with the fluidity of life itself.
We know change is the only constant and that is true for our body’s health too.
I encourage you to get curious about your fear level in your body.
Reflect on how much you trust your body.
- How do you react to something that feels different or wrong or sick?
- What is your default response to dis-ease?
- Do you ignore completely or begin the webMD diagnosis of cancer, brain tumor or death?
Begin that conversation with yourself. It will help so much because at some point our bodies will be out of ease and need extra attention.
There is no right or wrong. One is not better than the other. And judgement is not helpful.
Just get curious and bring attention to the level of fear you have regarding your body.
Have fun exploring!