Sensual Massage 101

sensual massage

Sensual massage can play a huge role in turning up the heat with your partner(s). Here’s the thing, touch is a powerful tool for connection. When you learn how to touch the body with awareness, attention, and love, you bring a gift that nothing else compares to. 

Often, in the day to day chaos of life, we can become disconnected to the person(s) that share our sexual world with. A sensual massage can be a way to turn that disconnection into deep connection.  That deep connection can lead to sex or not lead to sex, it can lead to orgasm or not lead to orgasm. The point of a sensual massage is pleasure connection with your person(s) body.

Massage is a way to connect with a person’s whole body-physical, emotional, spiritual, energetic, and mental. Touching someone on all these levels at once is potent and the connection created is deep.

Ways to touch the body strokes:

Gliding-Long, flowy, soft strokes whose main intention is putting the oil over the entire body. Using the fullness of your hand and allowing the fingers to be soft and explore the hills and valleys of the body’s landscape.

Holding-Placing both hands with full awareness is extremely comforting and calming.  When someone is feeling safe, they are typically more open to go to their erotic depths.

Kneading-Placing the flesh between your thumb and forefingers, squeeze gently and alternate hands like you would a ball of dough. Avoid using on sensitive areas like neck and belly, or pressing into joints and bones.

Compression-After the body is warm, you can explore with deeper pressure. You can compress into big muscle groups like butt, thighs or back to give more pressure. Use the heel of your hand, fists, or elbow while keeping your body safe. Remember to start light and slowly apply more pressure and checking in as you do.

Percussion-These are all about vibration in the body.  You can tap, slap, hack, or drum onto the body at different pressures. Ask for feedback. Sometimes these strokes can be triggering or too much for the receiver. 

Before you begin:

It’s important to be intentional and mindful when planning a sensual massage for your partner. Here are a few tips to consider if you want to make your time extra special:

  • Set the space
  • Shower
  • Talk about areas that are off limits for your partner
  • Ask if any injuries or open wounds to avoid

Where to begin:

For a sensual massage, the point is to begin away from the genitals and then end up there. 

Beginning on the back is a great place to start.  You can warm up the body with long, gliding strokes from the top of the head down to the feet.  This allows your person to unwind, relax, and ground.  The back is less vulnerable than the front of the body so it allows time to create safety and relaxation. 

Move your way down to the glutes. Here you can do compressions, kneading, or percussion strokes. Go slow and explore.

Then turn over and massage the head and chest down into the arms. The head is an amazing place to hold so take your time here.

Go back to the belly then take long strokes down the pubic area to the feet and back up.  Do each side.

At this point the energy might be building so feel free to explore the genitals if that was agreed upon before you began.


The key to any great massage is presence and curiosity.  Remember this can be just as enjoyable for the giver as it is to the receiver. The trick is to really pay attention to the body you are touching.  Be present with it and allow the sensual massage flow.

Now I want to hear from you…

  • Where on your body do you enjoy sensual massage?
  • How do you like to create space for a sensual massage experience?

Let me know in the comment box below. 

Stay curious!


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