Your past experiences create a story that is uniquely yours. The people in your life and the relationships you’ve had all contribute to who you are today and the lens with which you view the world. These experiences could have given you more confidence, taught you about trust, and allowed you to feel what love is. Others could have hurt you, made you feel small, or created distrust.
All these experiences affect you today in this moment. The positive memories and experiences keep you participating in the world, in your relationships, and the negative ones might make you hesitate. Here’s the thing, each one is powerful. But if you allow the negative to get stuck, your perspective changes toward one where negativity takes the lead. This creates stress, anxiety, and an overall heavy feeling in your heart.
Humans are meant to connect
It’s in our DNA to find others to do life with. On a very basic physiological level, our systems are designed to relax when we’re around others in community rather than isolation. Now, there are always exceptions to the rules, but in general, relationships are part of the human experience, so it’s important to know how impactful they are, whether they’re positive or negative.
Bringing light to the dark
The trick to healing is to bring the stuff you’ve hidden in the darkness to the light. This is typically the hardest and scariest part because we hide certain things for a reason. However, it’s important to see the pain so you can let it go. You must first have awareness, then the choice is created. And remember, choice brings freedom.
However, letting go of the hard stuff is easier said than done. It’s not easy to just “let things go”, so don’t be hard on yourself if it takes you longer to do it. More often than not, it takes time to be able to really let go. The first step, though, is bringing it to the light and be conscious about it.
Inner Refelction Questions
Take a moment to feel into the following questions. Journal your responses. Be honest with yourself to bring more truth to your relationship patterns.
- What is something that you’re ready to bring to the light?
- What is something about relationships you struggle with?
- How do you see it changing from struggle to letting it go?
- How can you find more love for yourself during the process?
Don’t forget, you also have a relationship with yourself. This is by far the most important one, so cultivating kindness and love is vital for all your other relationships.