When I meet clients for the first time, one of the first things they tell me is how disconnected they feel from their body. People come to me when they are feeling stressed out, stuck, and frustrated because they know there is more to experience around sex but they are being held back by some invisible force that they don’t quite understand.
This force is their unconscious telling them there is something to pay attention to when it comes to relationship, vulnerability, or sexual healing.
The realm of sexuality is one of extreme taboo and expectations. Rarely are we experiencing joy in our body and allowing the act of sex to be expressing pleasure. Because of the centuries of creating shame around sex and valuing intellect over body, it has created a deep inner confusion on how to find authentic sexual expression.
The cure for this confusion is simple…start from the ground up.
In order to find your true expression of sexual and sensual desires, you must get connected to your body. That means you must have conscious awareness of what is happening below your head. This is a realm you can’t think your way out of. You must feel and engage yourself fully if you want to shift how you relate to your intimate self or partners.
Somatic sex education is using the body as a way to inform yourself on your sexual needs, desires, and stuck points. Getting your body involved in this work is vital for the most understanding. Now I’m not just talking about your physical body here. As you know I’m a holistic kinda gal so that means when I talk about sexuality needing the body, I’m talking about the emotional, energetic, mental, and spiritual body.
You are not a simple being. Stop trying to be. Nothing is black and white. You must learn to live in the gray because that’s where the magic happens. Your sexual truth is in the gray area of life. To be a truly sexual being, you must get comfortable with your physical nature, your emotional landscape, your mental fantasies, and your spiritual connection.
It’s a big task but what else is there to do in this body?
Sexual energy runs through the world nonstop. When you learn how to work with your own energy, you begin to know what is yours and what isn’t.
That, my friend, is a HUGE reckoning.
When you can feel confident in your own body to stand up for it in any situation, you have become a deep ally. And when your body is your ally, you become unstoppable.
Embodiment is a term I use often to describe how your body can become your ally. Embodiment is connecting to your sensual being through your senses, touch, smell, sight, sound, and taste so anything that involves your senses is a good start. The key is to bring your attention and awareness to your sensual activity.
Ways to start from the ground up:
- Take a walk
- Put your hands on the earth
- Bring your attention to your feet
- Put one hand on your belly and the other on your heart
- Mindful breathing
- Self-touch
- Dance
Remember, to feel your authentic sexual expression you have to feel your sensual body. Allow yourself the time to explore.
Stay curious my friend.