Tantra is much more than sex. As you know, I’m a big cheerleader for all things related to exploring sensuality, eroticism, and pleasure. One of the ways I’ve been able to experience this within myself has been through studying tantric practices.
The thing I love about Tantra is the focus on self-love. You must know how to love yourself to reach your potential of pleasure and ecstasy. I’m talking beyond masturbation here. This is the self-love that encompasses self-reflection, body acceptance and allowing your emotions.
Basically, everything the Western culture tells us not to do.
Most people who I work with come to me because they feel deeply unsatisfied with their current sexual world. They want to learn more about how to experience pleasure, turn on their body, and have an amazing erotic connection with their partner.
This is the REALLY JUICY stuff that deserves attention. Because of the major taboo around learning about our bodies and pleasure, we have been denied the birthright of erotic pleasure.
Often, sex is seen as the opposite of spiritual. Some spiritual lineages renounce the body and make it bad or wrong to engage with it.
But that is the old way.
In this time of awakening, we must awaken to our body as well. You are a whole being, and that includes your sensual, erotic, pleasurable aspects. These parts of you are not bad or wrong or need to be hidden away. They are a part of YOU.
Today I want to share with you four elements of Tantra that you can take into your weekend and explore.
Presence
Be in the moment. That means be in your body. Most of us want to escape our bodies and live happily in our minds and thoughts and fantasy land. But to extend into the world of Tantra, you must learn how to be in the present moment with yourself, and if you have a partner, with them. Things like mindfulness practices, meditation, and movement can help you grow your presence muscles so when you are in the state of pleasure, you will also know how to be in the present.
Breathing
I know this sounds incredibly unsexy but your breath is the KEY to expanding your pleasure capacity. Using your breath to control pace and energy flow is how you can find more realms of ecstasy. Breath practices are easy to do and can be done at any time throughout the day. It can be as simple as focusing on your inhale and then your exhale. That simple shift of awareness to your breath is the practice, and that, my friend, can be HUGE when you’re in the midst of ecstasy.
Eye Gazing
Looking into another’s eyes is potent magic. They say eyes are the windows to the soul and with Tantra, that’s exactly right. It’s vulnerable to look someone else in the eyes, especially during sex. But this is how you can see the depth of the other. Practice by sitting with your partner outside of a sexual experience and staring into each other’s eyes. It might feel strange at first, but set a timer for 3 minutes and just sit together with intentional presence. If you don’t have a partner, gaze into your own eyes with a mirror to connect with your inner lover.
Acceptance
Tantra accepts everything. The vision is all about experience rather than judging as good or bad. Every experience is a way to learn about yourself and the other. The important part is how you participate with one another, which is with respect and seeing the other and yourself as sacred beings.
Try these out and let me know how it goes.
Remember, you are always worth your time and attention.
xo,
Monique