tree not in control of storm

Are You Feeling Out of Control?

When emotions are out of balance they can wreck havoc. Are you feeling out of control in your life right now?  

Many times we are attached to outcomes, trying to push things to happen, taking on all the tasks and trying to run the show our way so we feel things will get done.

Sound familiar?  This is control out of balance.

You don’t need to be in control to feel OK in the world.

As humans, we tend to try to predict the future.  We are thinking of probabilities at all times so we can prepare ourselves to make the “right” or “safest” decision.

But realistically the beauty of life is the constant change.  We are never going to be 100% in control of anything.

The only aspect we can find true control is within ourselves. 

When you can let go of control, you open up to possibilities.  When you can trust that you are safe in the world, things begin to appear in ways that are easy and will surprise you.

Letting go of control means more freedom, joy, love, and support.

My yoga teacher always says “don’t push into a pose or posture. First, breathe where you are. Second, feel the tensions or pain points, breathe into them and back away. Then wait for the space to open up. Move into the space with ease.” 

I think of this often when I feel myself wanting to push into something. It can be anything from needing to finish a work project, to the amount of money I make, to wanting a person to do what I want them to do.  

Control comes up and takes over my mind and body.  I feel it as if I am mummified. My body becomes tight and stiff. My jaw is clenched and my shoulders are at my ears. Then, my breath becomes shallow and fast.  I have learned to understand these as signals that I need to pay attention to my choices because life is not in balance.

Your body is a great source for truth.  It will show you what the rest of your internal world is doing.  

Signs of control in your body:

  • Shallow breathing (not trusting life)
  • Always anxious or nervous
  • Quick temper
  • Tightness in belly
  • Constipation (can’t let go)
  • Clenching of jaw (holding on tight)
  • Stiff neck
  • Back pain

Influencing factors of control:

Safety

Safety is a key influence in needing to feel in control.  We need to feel safe. That is a basic human need. But there is a point when that need has been met yet we are still seeking to control our external world.  It becomes too tight, too rigid and we feel anxious in our body and mind. 

Check out Creating Safe Space for Evolution for more insight.

Fear

Control is rooted in fear.  We are trying to control things because we are scared of what might happen if we don’t.  What is it that you are really afraid of? 

Trust

Control can come up when we don’t trust that we are going to be OK.  When we feel that we can’t let go and be safe, we lose trust in that situation.  Finding ways to trust in yourself no matter what circumstances you are in is key.  Cultivating a relationship with your intuition is one of those ways. 

Check out Your Greatest Super Power for ways to nourish intuition.

Support

Feeling alone can make you feel like you need to control things more than ever.  You are not alone in this world.  Reach out to someone you trust.  Be vulnerable and share your feelings of what you are trying to control.

Mantra to help find balance:

I trust that everything will happen as it needs to.

I trust life.

Trust life and live out of control in brilliant new ways.

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