Here’s the deal, paying attention to what you’re focusing on is important because what you focus on determines your reality. This relates to how you feel in your body, your relationships, and your sexual expression.
One of my favorite inspirational speakers is Tony Robbins. In his trainings he teaches that there are three patterns of focus. They give us insight in to how we can redirect our focus for a new perspective
Three patterns of focus
- What you have or what you’re missing?
- Do you focus on what you can control? Or what you can’t control?
- Do you focus more on the past, present, or future?
All of the ways we choose to focus determines what is created in our reality.
Now before you start listing the reasons your life is the way it is, I want you to know they are all legitimate. But I also want to invite you to explore this idea of focus.
Mindfulness and Action
Recently, I found myself really struggling. I was feeling out of control, insecure, and completely stressed out. I was focused on my business and all the ways I was seeing failure. I was focusing on all the goals I haven’t reached yet. I realized I have given my focus over to the feeling of failure which in turn got me incredibly stuck and depressed. I allowed my focus to be on failing so I began to feel like a failure.
I decided I had to take some sort of action because action creates movement and when you’re stuck, you need movement more than anything. So I reached out to someone who helped me remember what my real passion and goals are. When I came back to my heart, to the area that feels the truest to me, I was able to refocus and reframe how I was experiencing life.
This also works in your relationships. If you are focusing on everything your partner is doing wrong, who they need to be for you to be happy, and feeling like you’re the wrong match, you might want to try to refocus.
Refocusing can get you to understand the feeling that is under the stress. You might feel out of control or unsatisfied or unseen. When you get to the root of what the feeling is, then you can change what you’re focusing on and that changes the meaning. Then you get an opportunity to choose to take an action. Maybe that’s having an honest conversation when you’re not in an emotional spiral. Maybe you need to be heard in a new way.
Get curious about what you’re focusing on during your day. This is not to change anything to the “positive thinking” messaging. This is getting REAL with where your mind is going and noticing without judgements.
This is about seeing things as they are and not worse or better than they are. This is about valuing the realness of your life situation. Then you can shift the meaning and that creates new choices.
INNER REFLECTION QUESTIONS:
What do you tend to focus on?
What message does that focus create for you?
Let me know how it in the comment box below. I love hearing from you.
Until next time,
Stay curious my friend.